We are still alive!

Hello dear friends,

We've been back to Wisconsin for about 8 days now but it feels like a long time, because we've had so much to do. We haven't forgotten our promise to write more, especially Frank, I think, as he's shared less than I have to this point, but since we're trying to move to Portland, OR, which is clear across the country, in less than a month, it's been very hectic. And after having been in Nigeria, where we learned to slow down and actually enjoy our days and live life fully, it has been very hard to get back into the frantic way of life here. In addition, I finally graduated two days ago so our families have been here, and today is Mother's Day and tomorrow my birthday, so we've been busy celebrating and entertaining.

I did want everyone to know that tomorrow, we're going to have an open house where all of our friends and supporters can stop by to see our pictures (we printed about 250 of them and I've already enjoyed showing them to many people)and hear our stories and see the Nigerian handicrafts (including our clothes!) that we brought back, and also so we can thank people personally for caring about us and Nigeria. So you Nigerians, everyone's going to hear about you tomorrow, and how much we loved you! And everyone else, I wish you could all come. Anyway, we'll be in Portland for about a week starting on Wednesday to find a house and a job for Frank so please keep that in your prayers! Thanks a lot, more later!

Comment on Barbara's last post

We are on the last leg of our journey, safely here in Charlotte, NC. We are attempting to stay awake to account for the 6 hour time difference and I am exhausted but I wanted to respond to a comment one of my Nigerian friends just sent me. Throughout this blog I have tried to not paint a negative picture of Nigeria--I didn't want people to think it is a sad, dangerous, pitiable place, as many people think of Africa. There are sad things, and dangerous places, but I personally never felt unsafe, and there are many good and wonderful things too, as much to rejoice in as to be sad about. So I did try not to mention the things that I found disturbing and outright wrong during most of my blogs. But I felt that in order to be honest about what I had been struggling with while I was here, I wanted to at least once write a few of the things that bothered me. Of course it is all based on limited experience and my biased point of view.

In an attempt to be brief, I wrote some generalized statements about what I disliked about Nigeria that perhaps came off the wrong way, and I apologize for that. As is with all experiences, Nigerians have mixed feelings about Nigeria, and I have had mixed exposures to Nigerian point of view. Perhaps I did not get across that I love Nigeria, and for the most part, the people are what I will miss most. What is definitely true is that for every person who tried to rip me off, there were two people who tried to help me. And for every person who tried to be my friend just so I could help them in some way, there were five people who were my friends just because they were kind enough to share their great personalities with me. My friends were all people I would trust with my life, and it was they, along with the missionaries and many of my patients, who made my time in Nigeria so wonderful. Some Nigerians truly are bitter, and who can blame them, but many are quite happy. As I said before, Nigerians are a joyful bunch, able to praise God even when they have lost so many things in their lives. Almost all Nigerians I spoke to love Nigeria, despite its problems, and were happy to be there; but many knew people who would do anything they could to leave Nigeria, and hence, our problems with people trying to get us to help them with visas. Certainly it was not everyone, but it was more than once; and even one person is disconcerting for an American, because it is simply unacceptable behavior in the US.

So in short, it is not an easy situation, nor something easy to write about in an unbiased way. There is no doubt that there is much suffering and much joy entwined, much corruption and honesty side by side. That's partly what makes it so hard---you simply can't get your head around the fact that such extremes of values could exist seemingly side-by-side within the same culture, sometimes even within the same person. My impression is that this is true all over Africa, and is not just unique to Nigeria. But I hope those in Nigeria could understand that we who are from a different culture try our best to get our brains around it but it's hard.

I have appreciated all dialogues and all comments about our writings, because this is how we learn from each other, challenge each other, and keep each other accountable. So please, keep writing, and I will continue to clarify myself the best I can! I would like to finish by saying our time in Nigeria was so enriched by those people who couldn't be in Nigeria physically but prayed alongside us, and also by those who we met in Nigeria---Becca and Marion, Claudia, the Anthises and Naatz's and Ardills and Truxtons and Blyths, the Gwamnas and Onwuka's, the Spring of Life staff, the registrars/house officers Drs. Pops and Dennis and Kenneth and Salihu and Falegan and Joseph and many other doctors, too many to write out all their names, and the Maigadis and so, so many others---we'll miss them all.